Karma is a bitch....

So, I try to do nice stuff for people. I mean if we are out, I'll for sure buy you a drink or 3, let's get a pizza, on me...stuff like that. Since I spend most of my time at work, even on my days off, I'm there, I like to do stuff for the people who put up with me. So, on Tuesday I get off work, and offer to make a Starbucks run. Get the orders and off I go. A quick trip to 'bucks and then I'm back, coffee in hand and everyone is happy. I hang out at work for a few, partly to see what's up and partly to hear how nice I am...yes...it's true. I'm not that shallow, but you know, it's nice to hear...maybe I am that shallow...
Anyway, get back out to the car, buckle up(always) throw it in reverse and away we go. Put the car in drive, step on the gas, and there we DON'T go. Ok...Park-Drive-NOT MOVING. I am finally able to back into a parking space. After about 15 minutes I'm able to coax, read force with prayers and tears, my car to drive. I made a lot of deals with God in that 8 minute drive home. All I really wanted was to GET home. I did.

Now the fun part, trying to figure out then fix the problem, myself. I do a couple google searches, and come up with a plan. A bad plan, but a plan none the less. Go to the autoparts store, get my stuff and have at it. I also called my buddy Mike, he is smart about cars. Turns out I'm a quart low on transmission fluid, add a quart,of some stop leak stuff and take it for a spin, and still not moving. We come to the conclusion that I should probably drive it this way until I can't anymore. While I'm admittedly not a huge fan of this, I'm even less of a fan of a new transmission or a new car. I let it sit for a little and try it again. I'm hoping by some miracle that the fluids would soak into "where ever" and then "whatever" will happen and my car will work again. I give it a shot, and nothing. I start thinking, I could just drive everywhere backwards, right?? That's allowed, isn't it??

As I lie in bed, I start to think, what did I do to deserve this. You see, I'm Catholic and this is how we do. As I go over the list in my head I'm surprised my car doesn't burst into flames every time I get in it. I suppose I'm lucky it's just a bad transmission, and that I can afford to fix it, well, not really but my AMEX can afford it.

I wake up late this AM, and I'm told that I deserve it, thank you very much. Finally get ready and go get coffee, in my broken car. As I back out, I'm thinking, I hope I can get to Starbucks, and home too. Reverse out of the drive, throw it in drive and IT GOES!! WHAT. THE. FUCK. Ummmm...just a fluke I'm sure. So I stop and reverse and drive and go and stop on a hill and park and drive and go and reverse and stop and get out and run around the car and jump for joy and slip and fall(my shoe fell off) and drive and AWAY I GO!! I'm not sure how or why, but my car is no longer broken...

All day I've been floating. This doesn't happen to me, ever. I don't have this kind of luck. I don't know how long it will work, or even why it works, and I'm not sure I really want to know.

They say karma is a bitch, I'm not so sure about that, but if it's true, smack my ass and call me Alexis Carrington

Good riddance February, you're kind of an ass...

This winter has been kicking my ass lately. I really do like the winter, but lately its been brutal. You know its pretty bad when the best part of my day is going to work. Today is the last day of February, the last day of "meteorological winter", whatever that means. I just know I want for this winter to be over. I want all the things that spring and summer bring. Flowers, sunshine, my garden, driving with the windows opened(and the radio up, duh), and even cutting the grass, or I guess watching my neighbor cut my grass(thanks Mike!) I have lots of things I'm looking forward to...A wedding, Cubs games, concerts with great friends, meeting new friends...all that stuff...get here summer....

So with this, I bid you adieu February, I hardly knew ya. I mean you're only 28 days long, which, by the way, is another reason you're a jerk. Maybe next time we will get along better, become fast friends, have a good time. Or maybe not. No offense Feb, but really, get the fuck out of here.

In the bleak midwinter....

I love winter. I love snow. When the forecast for "#SnowlyCow 2011" was for 18-24 inches of snow...that's like 2 feet. I was elated. Things went as planned, we got the snow, we got the blowing. We had drifts up to 3 feet tall, maybe even taller. I went out and shoveled and "snow blowed" multiple times. I was in my glory. My beard froze. I pushed people out of the snow, and helped people shovel. GOOD TIMES. I couldn't leave my 'hood for a day or 2 and I was okay with that. I would sit on my deck and just look at the moonlit blue tinted snow, pure, untouched and I was in awe. The quiet was deafening.

I would take the back roads to work. So much snow had fallen that the roads at places were only one lane wide. The snow was piled higher than my car...and I loved it. The cold air helped awaken me to all that was around me.

But then it got brutally cold. Below zero. Both of my cars needed to be repaired. My bed seemed really big and really cold. Getting up in the morning was a struggle. Is a struggle. Seasonal affective disorder anyone?? I don't know if that's it, but maybe. As I drove around I noticed the snow, the snow that I loved was starting to over take me. I was mad at the snow. I lost shingles in the storm. The snow was getting dirty. The new clean slate of snow that started out to look like the frosting on a cake was turning into a dirty, slushy mess. I didn't like to leave the house.

The 50 degree weather the past 2 days has given me hope. The start of spring training has given me hope. Time with E has given me hope. Spring, hurry up, I miss you.

Oxy, Cialis,& Vicodin, oh my!!

I'm a pharmacist. I'm not sure if any of(all 4 of you) know this,but that's what I do to pay the bills. I've done this for a long time,and generally speaking, I really enjoy my job. I think I'm pretty good at it. Not great, but pretty good. It's a profession I backed into. I recently reconnected with my high school girl friend, and she disagrees, but I digress. I was in junior college, see here, and while there I realized I had my fill of calculus, differential equations, and things of that nature. A friend suggested I look into pharmacy and I did. I found out that my high school physics would transfer too. DONE. DEAL. The path of my future started with the fact that I WOULDN'T have to work too hard, that's good, right? I breezed through junior college, and then was greeted with a big slap in the face in pharmacy school. After a semester, or 3, I figured out that I had to study, how to study, and how to manage my time. I ended up doing well, and also discovered how political, I think that's the term, college is, but I'll save that for another day. In a nutshell my college career went like this, Study + graduate = job. I had a job lined up before graduation. I was set.

My first job was bad. Like working 4 months without insurance bad. After I was told I had insurance. My boss was bad. Really bad. Lied to me, numerous times. I worked 12 hour days. ONLY 12 HOUR DAYS. In theory, it sounds like a great deal, because longer days, means fewer days, right?? WRONG. At one point I worked 17 days in a row. That is 17 twelve hour days. I was shot. It was not safe. That job lasted about 5 years, about 4 years, 11 months, and 2 weeks too long(I would give a 2 week notice, totally professional).

My next job was at a little, clinic pharmacy. I took a pay cut to work there. But I was looking long term. I wanted to run that place. Visions of compounding and IV therapy danced in my head like those of sugar plums in a snuggling child's head on Christmas eve. It turned out my boss was a control freak. I wasn't allowed to make any decisions on my own, and when I did she would promptly remind me that she was the boss, and I was over stepping. OOOOOOOOkay.....BUT....BUT....I still thought I would eventually be the boss, so I stuck around. I decided even though I was getting paid less than other area pharmacists, I was really seriously under valuing myself, that I would stay there(big picture, long term goals) until they told me to leave, i mean it was only a matter of time until I was in charge. Then 2 weeks later, they told me to leave. My "position was being eliminated". I honestly almost threw up when I was told. I just built a house, I had a family, responsibilities. I was devastated, scared, mad. But my boss reminded me it was going to be hard for her too...I almost punched her right in the baby maker. I didn't. That was 8 years. Seeing a pattern here?? HINT-I stay at jobs a long time...

So now I'm about to be unemployed, and well, scared. But the day after I found out I was getting let go, I was fielding calls for new jobs. They were calling ME! My anxiety was fading. I was offered 3 jobs, all for more money. I chose my job, at a HUGE retailer. I won't say with who it was but they advertise "ROLL-BACKS" a lot. I can't make it any clearer than this, I was miserable there...all the time...I never fit there. I may have been partly me, but I was unhappy. The people, other employees were nice to me. The clientele were...not what I was used to. The final straw, or one of the final straws came when a customer threatened to be waiting for me at my car when I left to beat me up. That wasn't the worst part. The worst part was when I looked at him and thought I could not only give him a good fight, I was sure I could kick his ass. I told no one about this. I just knew I had to GET OUT. Now.

8 months and 2 weeks from the day I started I got a call from a friend. His wife manages a pharmacy, and they are looking for a pharmacist. I am friends with her too, but her husband wanted to tell me. I interview. It's an interesting interview. I broke 3 of the cardinal rules of interviews, but I still thought it went well. Then I waited. And waited. and waited. Finally, I was offered the job. I wanted to take it and start that day, but I gave my 2 week notice and started the 4th job of my professional life.

My new job, my current job, has been, from the time I started, almost constantly great. I almost feel like I'm overpaid. I'm in a unique position. My boss has 4 kids, all under the age of 10. The other pharmacist, she has 3 kids. I have none at home. I am very, very available. I work more hours than I get paid for. And I'm happy to. My boss feels guilty for all that I do for her, and the other pharmacist and for the pharmacy. She feels like she can't repay me, but to be honest, I feel like I owe her. She saved my life in a way. She likes to brush it off, but she knows what this job means to me, what she means to me. She was on maternity leave, I covered her hours for 3 weeks(she gave birth 3 weeks early). I worked 60+ hours those weeks. It was difficult, but I was happy to do it. I really didn't mind. I can't really explain in words how I feel about my boss, what I'd do for her. If I tried, I fear it would lose some if its meaning. At my job, I am allowed to make decisions, and my boss totally supports me and my choices. At first, I wasn't used to this, I didn't know how to act, react. Now, I realize it is as good for her as it is for me.

Today I got a text from her. It said "I just got u a raise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Totally unexpected. Greatly appreciated. I was honestly blown away. It was great to be validated. For my hard work to recognized. I am always thanked for my hard work, and honestly, that is enough. The fact that she did it, for me, without my asking, without her letting me know is the best. I asked her why she did this. Her reply,"you deserve it". I thanked her, and told her I owe her. Her reply ":-)", which is what I've been doing all night.

Today's joy, brought to you by 4square and iPhone

Went to work, and honestly, any day I can get out of bed, I feel lucky. So, after getting up and ready, then I went to work. I had a heck of a day at work. At times it seemed like I was the only person out of the 6 of us there who was ACTUALLY doing something. then the computers at work went down. No worries, call Brian, he can fix it, and well, I did. But at that point in time all work ceased. I got things up and running, and got people back to working, that was the hard part, the people. But I had my usual day of fielding questions about insurance, co-pays, cost of medication, and of course, can I drink beer with this. Took a break, well not really, I sat on a stool in a place no one could see me. It was for maybe 3 minutes. I was going to order some tickets to see Marc Broussard. Ever hear him?? Check him out, but only if you love awesome music, but I digress....So I get on my trusty iPhone, and go to buy tickets and of course, its sold out. I almost threw up...I was mad, at myself...I was supposed to buy them for a friend and I, but I figured I had a month, no worries. So in addition to the fact that I'm now not going, I get to make the text of shame, admitting my inability to make a simple web transaction. The killer is that I had them in my cart the day before, and I had to go get carrots for soup I was making...and that kids, is why vegetables are NOT good for you. So, I send the text, and she is of course nice, but disappointed. I of course feel like a tool. From this point on, I was a real bitch at work. Ruined my day, and the day of my co-workers....heh......sorry about that.....everything was pissing me off. Finally my boss told me my shift was over and to go home, and to be in a better mood when i returned, she was only (half) joking. I apologized and left. Went to get a turkey burger, and waited with a Maker's, double, rocks. It was not a good day/night.

I hate when people beg. But I sent a tweet to the venue where the concert will be, and asked, not begged, if there was any chance I could get 2 tickets for the show....pretty please with sugar on top.... they replied with an email address to contact, but things didn't look great,but they'd see what they could do for the mayor(I am the 4square mayor of said venue) So, I sent off an email, and low and behold a few hours later I was told that there will be 2 tickets waiting for me at will call that night!! Holy Balls!! I was pumped!! So excited! I then sent off the text of triumph!! My day took a total 180 from crap to awesome, and to top it off, I ended the night by watching Julie and Julia, which I loved.

I guess all the 4Square sign ins are finally paying off....

Julie and Julia....spoilers in this blog

I'll just say it, I'm a sucker for romantic movies. And I'm fine with that. I've watched them all, well, ok, not all, but a lot of them. I've laughed, cried and enjoyed it. I never wanted to see Julie and Julia. I'm a fan of Amy Adams, so cute, and Stanley Tucci, forget about it, but I'm not a huge fan of Meryl Streep. So I sort of avoided it. But it came up on my Netflix recommendations, and a friend of mine, you should really checkout her blog,www.paigeworthy.com(way better than mine..WAY BETTER), blogged about seeing it and figured I'd give it a spin.
I started it and stopped it. Then started and stopped. Walked around, got a drink, and then sat down and re-re-started it. SIMPLY WONDERFUL! What took me so long?? I was delighted with it from the first....well....from the third time I started it. I'm not a great writer, I'm not really good at expressing how I feel in words. If you were here, with me, I could maybe do an interpretive dance, but I fear that would not go so well either. But I did come away with a few things from it, of which I will share.
First, Julia and Paul. I. Want. That. I just loved the way they looked at each other, how they supported each other, how they loved each other. All the time. I want that, for me, for you, for everyone.
There are some scenes that really touched me. In the kitchen when Julia got the letter from her sister telling her she was pregnant, that really broke my heart. Maybe I'm wrong, but Julia and Paul couldn't have children, and it seemed to be something she longed for. It's a hard place to be, in that position. Obviously filled with joy for her sister, but at the same time, feeling a void in her life for something she wants so bad. Been there.
The scene where she meets Avis for the first time at the train station. When Julia explained how she had never met Avis, how they were pen pals. They had exchanged letters back and forth, for 8 years, and they would finally meet. Avis called Julia "My dear friend". It's funny to me, that today, we do the same thing. We make friends on the internet, twitter, some of who we will never meet. But even though we may never meet them, or haven't met them yet, we know them. And they know us. Well, as much as we LET them know.
To do something, anything, for a year, is a tremendous task. I can't seem to string a few blog posts together each week let alone cook every recipe in a cookbook AND blog about it. I'm happy if I get to work on time and leave on time most days(that never happens). Julie did it, she finished it, had some ups and downs, but quite frankly looked smashing and pixie cute doing it.
So, recap. Julie and Julia-loved it, want to be that, whatever it is in the movie. Adams, Tucci, Streep, and the rest, BRAVO ! Heck, even Jane Lynch is in this movie, and you know how I love me some Jane Lynch!
Pop some corn, rent(or stream via Netflix) this movie, sit back, relax and enjoy. You won't be sorry....Bon Appetit!!

Stop bothering me....yeah, im here.....of course i can help...

So, if you know me, and I assume my 4 readers know me, because, why else would you be reading this, you have heard me talk about, or actually complain about my pop. But first, maybe you don't know this, but my mom died a few years ago. Shortly before my pop retired, my mom got sick and was in the hospital for about 100 days. During that time, we, my family, got called there a few times, because...well....they thought mom was going to die. All those times she didn't, thankfully. Eventually, she physically recovered, but she was never the same mentally...she was just different. My Pop, then retired, and became pretty much a nurse to my mom. He never complained. Even now when we talk about it, he has never said a bad work, or felt bad for himself. It was something that happened, and he dealt with it the best he could. He wasn't perfect, but none of us are. Then, mom got sick again, and eventually died. My pop was a shattered man. It was really hard on him. Since I was the only one of me, my brother and sister who was close, it was my job to go see him daily. I would go to see him, we would watch TV, he would sigh alot, and we would eat, and he would excuse himself to go cry. He thought I didn't know, but I did. It broke my heart. I thought he didn't know that I knew, but maybe he did. After some time, a year or so, he got "better" or I think he just learned how to deal with the pain, he grieved and was a different man. A stronger, better man, but different. He is now dating a great woman, and is very happy. He stops by work to see me almost daily. If he stops and I'm not there, he will call me just to tell me he stopped, and nothing else really. So, honestly, it's really great to see him that much and that happy. He is proud of me, he tells me, and that really makes my day. Buuuuuuuut.... you know, times when im working, and he calls me and I tell him, I can't talk, but he CAN'T wait and has to ask me...who was that guy in that movie...he wore a funny hat....That's Will Farrel in Elf, pop...RIGHT!! he says....what is that other movie he is in?? POP....I'm working...I can't do this right now...

Also he has a tendency to want things fixed, RIGHT NOW. It is usually something that doesn't need to be fixed. Ever. But it bugs him, so he calls and expects me to run right over, drop everything. Annoying, right. But then he calls me back to tell me, he figured it out, that it wasn't that hard. I tell him "cool, i knew you could", then he says that is good to have me right across the river and it's good to know he can call me, and I will be there to help him...I tell him, Yep, call me whenever you need anything. And he does.