Good riddance February, you're kind of an ass...

This winter has been kicking my ass lately. I really do like the winter, but lately its been brutal. You know its pretty bad when the best part of my day is going to work. Today is the last day of February, the last day of "meteorological winter", whatever that means. I just know I want for this winter to be over. I want all the things that spring and summer bring. Flowers, sunshine, my garden, driving with the windows opened(and the radio up, duh), and even cutting the grass, or I guess watching my neighbor cut my grass(thanks Mike!) I have lots of things I'm looking forward to...A wedding, Cubs games, concerts with great friends, meeting new friends...all that stuff...get here summer....

So with this, I bid you adieu February, I hardly knew ya. I mean you're only 28 days long, which, by the way, is another reason you're a jerk. Maybe next time we will get along better, become fast friends, have a good time. Or maybe not. No offense Feb, but really, get the fuck out of here.

In the bleak midwinter....

I love winter. I love snow. When the forecast for "#SnowlyCow 2011" was for 18-24 inches of snow...that's like 2 feet. I was elated. Things went as planned, we got the snow, we got the blowing. We had drifts up to 3 feet tall, maybe even taller. I went out and shoveled and "snow blowed" multiple times. I was in my glory. My beard froze. I pushed people out of the snow, and helped people shovel. GOOD TIMES. I couldn't leave my 'hood for a day or 2 and I was okay with that. I would sit on my deck and just look at the moonlit blue tinted snow, pure, untouched and I was in awe. The quiet was deafening.

I would take the back roads to work. So much snow had fallen that the roads at places were only one lane wide. The snow was piled higher than my car...and I loved it. The cold air helped awaken me to all that was around me.

But then it got brutally cold. Below zero. Both of my cars needed to be repaired. My bed seemed really big and really cold. Getting up in the morning was a struggle. Is a struggle. Seasonal affective disorder anyone?? I don't know if that's it, but maybe. As I drove around I noticed the snow, the snow that I loved was starting to over take me. I was mad at the snow. I lost shingles in the storm. The snow was getting dirty. The new clean slate of snow that started out to look like the frosting on a cake was turning into a dirty, slushy mess. I didn't like to leave the house.

The 50 degree weather the past 2 days has given me hope. The start of spring training has given me hope. Time with E has given me hope. Spring, hurry up, I miss you.

Oxy, Cialis,& Vicodin, oh my!!

I'm a pharmacist. I'm not sure if any of(all 4 of you) know this,but that's what I do to pay the bills. I've done this for a long time,and generally speaking, I really enjoy my job. I think I'm pretty good at it. Not great, but pretty good. It's a profession I backed into. I recently reconnected with my high school girl friend, and she disagrees, but I digress. I was in junior college, see here, and while there I realized I had my fill of calculus, differential equations, and things of that nature. A friend suggested I look into pharmacy and I did. I found out that my high school physics would transfer too. DONE. DEAL. The path of my future started with the fact that I WOULDN'T have to work too hard, that's good, right? I breezed through junior college, and then was greeted with a big slap in the face in pharmacy school. After a semester, or 3, I figured out that I had to study, how to study, and how to manage my time. I ended up doing well, and also discovered how political, I think that's the term, college is, but I'll save that for another day. In a nutshell my college career went like this, Study + graduate = job. I had a job lined up before graduation. I was set.

My first job was bad. Like working 4 months without insurance bad. After I was told I had insurance. My boss was bad. Really bad. Lied to me, numerous times. I worked 12 hour days. ONLY 12 HOUR DAYS. In theory, it sounds like a great deal, because longer days, means fewer days, right?? WRONG. At one point I worked 17 days in a row. That is 17 twelve hour days. I was shot. It was not safe. That job lasted about 5 years, about 4 years, 11 months, and 2 weeks too long(I would give a 2 week notice, totally professional).

My next job was at a little, clinic pharmacy. I took a pay cut to work there. But I was looking long term. I wanted to run that place. Visions of compounding and IV therapy danced in my head like those of sugar plums in a snuggling child's head on Christmas eve. It turned out my boss was a control freak. I wasn't allowed to make any decisions on my own, and when I did she would promptly remind me that she was the boss, and I was over stepping. OOOOOOOOkay.....BUT....BUT....I still thought I would eventually be the boss, so I stuck around. I decided even though I was getting paid less than other area pharmacists, I was really seriously under valuing myself, that I would stay there(big picture, long term goals) until they told me to leave, i mean it was only a matter of time until I was in charge. Then 2 weeks later, they told me to leave. My "position was being eliminated". I honestly almost threw up when I was told. I just built a house, I had a family, responsibilities. I was devastated, scared, mad. But my boss reminded me it was going to be hard for her too...I almost punched her right in the baby maker. I didn't. That was 8 years. Seeing a pattern here?? HINT-I stay at jobs a long time...

So now I'm about to be unemployed, and well, scared. But the day after I found out I was getting let go, I was fielding calls for new jobs. They were calling ME! My anxiety was fading. I was offered 3 jobs, all for more money. I chose my job, at a HUGE retailer. I won't say with who it was but they advertise "ROLL-BACKS" a lot. I can't make it any clearer than this, I was miserable there...all the time...I never fit there. I may have been partly me, but I was unhappy. The people, other employees were nice to me. The clientele were...not what I was used to. The final straw, or one of the final straws came when a customer threatened to be waiting for me at my car when I left to beat me up. That wasn't the worst part. The worst part was when I looked at him and thought I could not only give him a good fight, I was sure I could kick his ass. I told no one about this. I just knew I had to GET OUT. Now.

8 months and 2 weeks from the day I started I got a call from a friend. His wife manages a pharmacy, and they are looking for a pharmacist. I am friends with her too, but her husband wanted to tell me. I interview. It's an interesting interview. I broke 3 of the cardinal rules of interviews, but I still thought it went well. Then I waited. And waited. and waited. Finally, I was offered the job. I wanted to take it and start that day, but I gave my 2 week notice and started the 4th job of my professional life.

My new job, my current job, has been, from the time I started, almost constantly great. I almost feel like I'm overpaid. I'm in a unique position. My boss has 4 kids, all under the age of 10. The other pharmacist, she has 3 kids. I have none at home. I am very, very available. I work more hours than I get paid for. And I'm happy to. My boss feels guilty for all that I do for her, and the other pharmacist and for the pharmacy. She feels like she can't repay me, but to be honest, I feel like I owe her. She saved my life in a way. She likes to brush it off, but she knows what this job means to me, what she means to me. She was on maternity leave, I covered her hours for 3 weeks(she gave birth 3 weeks early). I worked 60+ hours those weeks. It was difficult, but I was happy to do it. I really didn't mind. I can't really explain in words how I feel about my boss, what I'd do for her. If I tried, I fear it would lose some if its meaning. At my job, I am allowed to make decisions, and my boss totally supports me and my choices. At first, I wasn't used to this, I didn't know how to act, react. Now, I realize it is as good for her as it is for me.

Today I got a text from her. It said "I just got u a raise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Totally unexpected. Greatly appreciated. I was honestly blown away. It was great to be validated. For my hard work to recognized. I am always thanked for my hard work, and honestly, that is enough. The fact that she did it, for me, without my asking, without her letting me know is the best. I asked her why she did this. Her reply,"you deserve it". I thanked her, and told her I owe her. Her reply ":-)", which is what I've been doing all night.

Today's joy, brought to you by 4square and iPhone

Went to work, and honestly, any day I can get out of bed, I feel lucky. So, after getting up and ready, then I went to work. I had a heck of a day at work. At times it seemed like I was the only person out of the 6 of us there who was ACTUALLY doing something. then the computers at work went down. No worries, call Brian, he can fix it, and well, I did. But at that point in time all work ceased. I got things up and running, and got people back to working, that was the hard part, the people. But I had my usual day of fielding questions about insurance, co-pays, cost of medication, and of course, can I drink beer with this. Took a break, well not really, I sat on a stool in a place no one could see me. It was for maybe 3 minutes. I was going to order some tickets to see Marc Broussard. Ever hear him?? Check him out, but only if you love awesome music, but I digress....So I get on my trusty iPhone, and go to buy tickets and of course, its sold out. I almost threw up...I was mad, at myself...I was supposed to buy them for a friend and I, but I figured I had a month, no worries. So in addition to the fact that I'm now not going, I get to make the text of shame, admitting my inability to make a simple web transaction. The killer is that I had them in my cart the day before, and I had to go get carrots for soup I was making...and that kids, is why vegetables are NOT good for you. So, I send the text, and she is of course nice, but disappointed. I of course feel like a tool. From this point on, I was a real bitch at work. Ruined my day, and the day of my co-workers....heh......sorry about that.....everything was pissing me off. Finally my boss told me my shift was over and to go home, and to be in a better mood when i returned, she was only (half) joking. I apologized and left. Went to get a turkey burger, and waited with a Maker's, double, rocks. It was not a good day/night.

I hate when people beg. But I sent a tweet to the venue where the concert will be, and asked, not begged, if there was any chance I could get 2 tickets for the show....pretty please with sugar on top.... they replied with an email address to contact, but things didn't look great,but they'd see what they could do for the mayor(I am the 4square mayor of said venue) So, I sent off an email, and low and behold a few hours later I was told that there will be 2 tickets waiting for me at will call that night!! Holy Balls!! I was pumped!! So excited! I then sent off the text of triumph!! My day took a total 180 from crap to awesome, and to top it off, I ended the night by watching Julie and Julia, which I loved.

I guess all the 4Square sign ins are finally paying off....

Julie and Julia....spoilers in this blog

I'll just say it, I'm a sucker for romantic movies. And I'm fine with that. I've watched them all, well, ok, not all, but a lot of them. I've laughed, cried and enjoyed it. I never wanted to see Julie and Julia. I'm a fan of Amy Adams, so cute, and Stanley Tucci, forget about it, but I'm not a huge fan of Meryl Streep. So I sort of avoided it. But it came up on my Netflix recommendations, and a friend of mine, you should really checkout her blog,www.paigeworthy.com(way better than mine..WAY BETTER), blogged about seeing it and figured I'd give it a spin.
I started it and stopped it. Then started and stopped. Walked around, got a drink, and then sat down and re-re-started it. SIMPLY WONDERFUL! What took me so long?? I was delighted with it from the first....well....from the third time I started it. I'm not a great writer, I'm not really good at expressing how I feel in words. If you were here, with me, I could maybe do an interpretive dance, but I fear that would not go so well either. But I did come away with a few things from it, of which I will share.
First, Julia and Paul. I. Want. That. I just loved the way they looked at each other, how they supported each other, how they loved each other. All the time. I want that, for me, for you, for everyone.
There are some scenes that really touched me. In the kitchen when Julia got the letter from her sister telling her she was pregnant, that really broke my heart. Maybe I'm wrong, but Julia and Paul couldn't have children, and it seemed to be something she longed for. It's a hard place to be, in that position. Obviously filled with joy for her sister, but at the same time, feeling a void in her life for something she wants so bad. Been there.
The scene where she meets Avis for the first time at the train station. When Julia explained how she had never met Avis, how they were pen pals. They had exchanged letters back and forth, for 8 years, and they would finally meet. Avis called Julia "My dear friend". It's funny to me, that today, we do the same thing. We make friends on the internet, twitter, some of who we will never meet. But even though we may never meet them, or haven't met them yet, we know them. And they know us. Well, as much as we LET them know.
To do something, anything, for a year, is a tremendous task. I can't seem to string a few blog posts together each week let alone cook every recipe in a cookbook AND blog about it. I'm happy if I get to work on time and leave on time most days(that never happens). Julie did it, she finished it, had some ups and downs, but quite frankly looked smashing and pixie cute doing it.
So, recap. Julie and Julia-loved it, want to be that, whatever it is in the movie. Adams, Tucci, Streep, and the rest, BRAVO ! Heck, even Jane Lynch is in this movie, and you know how I love me some Jane Lynch!
Pop some corn, rent(or stream via Netflix) this movie, sit back, relax and enjoy. You won't be sorry....Bon Appetit!!

Stop bothering me....yeah, im here.....of course i can help...

So, if you know me, and I assume my 4 readers know me, because, why else would you be reading this, you have heard me talk about, or actually complain about my pop. But first, maybe you don't know this, but my mom died a few years ago. Shortly before my pop retired, my mom got sick and was in the hospital for about 100 days. During that time, we, my family, got called there a few times, because...well....they thought mom was going to die. All those times she didn't, thankfully. Eventually, she physically recovered, but she was never the same mentally...she was just different. My Pop, then retired, and became pretty much a nurse to my mom. He never complained. Even now when we talk about it, he has never said a bad work, or felt bad for himself. It was something that happened, and he dealt with it the best he could. He wasn't perfect, but none of us are. Then, mom got sick again, and eventually died. My pop was a shattered man. It was really hard on him. Since I was the only one of me, my brother and sister who was close, it was my job to go see him daily. I would go to see him, we would watch TV, he would sigh alot, and we would eat, and he would excuse himself to go cry. He thought I didn't know, but I did. It broke my heart. I thought he didn't know that I knew, but maybe he did. After some time, a year or so, he got "better" or I think he just learned how to deal with the pain, he grieved and was a different man. A stronger, better man, but different. He is now dating a great woman, and is very happy. He stops by work to see me almost daily. If he stops and I'm not there, he will call me just to tell me he stopped, and nothing else really. So, honestly, it's really great to see him that much and that happy. He is proud of me, he tells me, and that really makes my day. Buuuuuuuut.... you know, times when im working, and he calls me and I tell him, I can't talk, but he CAN'T wait and has to ask me...who was that guy in that movie...he wore a funny hat....That's Will Farrel in Elf, pop...RIGHT!! he says....what is that other movie he is in?? POP....I'm working...I can't do this right now...

Also he has a tendency to want things fixed, RIGHT NOW. It is usually something that doesn't need to be fixed. Ever. But it bugs him, so he calls and expects me to run right over, drop everything. Annoying, right. But then he calls me back to tell me, he figured it out, that it wasn't that hard. I tell him "cool, i knew you could", then he says that is good to have me right across the river and it's good to know he can call me, and I will be there to help him...I tell him, Yep, call me whenever you need anything. And he does.

Under the table and dreamning

As a child, the holidays were a pretty big deal. My Mom's parents lived far away, like 8 hours, so a day trip over the river and though the woods to Grandmother's house was pretty much out of the question. But, my Pop's folks, well, my Grandma, lived just a few miles away, one town over from us. JACKPOT! For the major holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and sometimes Easter, we would pack up the Gran Torino, the same car Starsky and Hutch drove, but with a different paint job, and spend the day, into the evening at Gramma D's house. It was always a joyous occasion for us kids. You see, when you are a kid, as we all can remember, your only responsibility was to be in the car when it was driving away. We didn't have cell phones, or Ipods to bring. This was before the times of Nintendo DS, and DVDs. We just had our imagination to keep us occupied throughout the day.


We would pack up the car early. Early enough to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in its entirety at Gramma's house. The day would be filled with the sounds and smells of Thanksgiving. The sound of my Mom's high heels on the floor, though I can never remember her having, let alone wearing high heels, I sure do remember hearing them on the hardwood floors. The sound of beer cans opening, don't judge, and the sound of a Zippo being lit...again, it was the 70's. I can remember the sound of the electric mixer, a sure sign that dinner will soon be served, it was potato mashing time!! There was also some swearing, as Pop was and is a Lions fan, and they would be beaten on a regular basis on Thanksgiving. Corn never tasted so good...and the gravy, well, don't get me started. It was a cornucopia of great smells....turkey, rolls, pie, green bean casserole. So many good smells.

There was lots of eating, and drinking and football watching. Naps were had by all. Then later on, more eating of leftovers. Turkey sandwich anyone?? YES PLEASE! One of the highlights for me was, after dinner, the kids....me, my brother and sister, and my 2 cousins would crawl under the big dining room table and just play. we would bring our cars, or the cars that were left at Gramma D's house and play. Sometimes we would pretend we were in jail, or stuck on an island, note to self, sue ABC for stealing my idea for LOST, or in outer space or whatever. It was the best!! It seemed to go on for hours, heck, maybe it did. I think that was for me, the best part of the holidays.

Now, when it's the holidays, after dinner is done and the dishes are done(I pitch in) I will go and hide my niece's Nintendo DS, sorry "DS-I Uncle Brian!!" she reminds me, and I hang out under the table. For a while, it's just me, and I kinda, sorta like that. But then after a little bit I'm greeted with "what are you doing under there??" Sometimes I say I lost something, sometimes I say I'm being punished, both of which, my nieces know could have happened. They will ask if I need help looking, or escaping. Yes, I do!! Then after we look and can't find, or try to escape and can't, the under of the table is filled with toys. Dolls, yes, I play with dolls, so?? Or balls, especially if my Nephew is involved. We will roll the balls back and forth. One time we named all of the plastic horses she got for Christmas. That was fun. That was a few years ago...she STILL remembers the names, I don't, but I act like I do. We have had some great talks under there. I have them all but convinced that what I do for a job is a Pirate....I mean, why else would I have a beard?? Yes, I have a pirate uniform, and No, you can not see it, its at the Pirate Cleaners, I got food on it at work. For now, they still believe me.

It's still a lot of fun to play under the table. The getting under and getting back out isn't as easy as it once was...I think they are making tables a lot smaller now, I'm pretty sure thats it. But rest assured that I will be under the table, and not from drinking, again this Thanksgiving or Christmas. I have to, it's for the kids....you believe me, right??